The Importance of Catch Ups in Making Quality Friendships

The Importance of Catch Ups in Building Quality Friendships

At Making Connections Toowoomba (MCT), our social skills programs focus on helping young people understand the characteristics of a quality friendship. One important element we teach is the value of catching up. Friendships, like all meaningful relationships, require effort from both people – and catching up in person plays an essential role in maintaining and strengthening these connections.

Why Catch Ups Matter

Catching up gives us the opportunity to share experiences, deepen trust, and reinforce the bond between friends. It’s during these moments that friendships are nurtured, mutual interests are explored, and memories are built. For neurodivergent young people, learning the purpose and benefits of catch ups can help make social connections more intentional, rewarding and long lasting.

Understanding Individual Differences

Catch ups come with an important reminder: just as no two friendships are identical, catching up looks different for everyone. Some people enjoy catching up weekly – or even more often – while for others, the occasional catch up is enough.

It’s important to recognise that we all have different social needs and varying "social batteries." Some young people recharge quickly and look for regular connection, while others need more time between social interactions. Pushing beyond our social limits can lead to fatigue, burnout and social avoidance, which can affect the quality of the friendship, and our ability to consolidate an emerging friendship. Making friends with people who respect our individual social thresholds helps build sustainable, quality friendships.

It’s also important to remember that the way we catch up can look different too. For some, a catch up might mean doing activities together the entire time, while for others, simply sitting near a friend, sharing space quietly, is enough to feel connected. Both are valid ways of nurturing friendships.

Catch Ups vs. Hanging Out

It’s important to distinguish between "hanging out" and "catching up." Hanging out is often more spontaneous and casual, with no set structure or time limit. It usually relies heavily on ongoing conversation without a clear shared activity, which, while enjoyable for some, can sometimes feel overwhelming or stressful for neurodivergent individuals (not all, but often).

In contrast, catching up usually has a more intentional purpose: connecting and spending time together, often through a shared activity around a common interest. Planning a catch up around something specific to do provides a natural focus for conversation and interaction, which can ease social pressure.

For those learning to build friendships, an intentional, structured catch up can often be a more comfortable and successful way to strengthen connections — especially in the early stages of a new friendship.

For catch ups to be successful, especially for young people learning these skills, it helps to have a few strategies in place:

Plan ahead – agree on a time, place, and activity and communicate this clearly
Choose an activity-based meet up – having something to do can ease social pressure (e.g. if you both like bowling, movies, or art/craft)
Set time limits – keeping catch ups short can help manage social energy and have everyone leaving wanting more
Have a backup plan – having a Plan B ensures there’s still something to do if things don’t go to plan or if someone gets bored

At Making Connections Toowoomba, we believe teaching these strategies helps young people feel more confident in making and keeping friends. If you want to learn more about how to support your child, teen, or young adult in developing meaningful friendships, explore our social skills programs:

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