The Benefits of Pretend Play for Children with Social-Communication Difficulties

Fiona Goodall • March 21, 2023

First of all, it’s important to recognise that there are different forms of play, such as exploratory play, cause-and-effect play, toy play, constructive play, physical play and pretend play. Here we’re discussing pretend play, which is different from structured play. Pretend play is typically child-led and tends to have few rules or expectations. Pretend play can be interchangeable between dramatic play, fantasy play or make believe. Children often mimic or act out their favourite characters and scenarios, real or imagined (e.g. a teacher/classroom or Marvel Hero/epic battle). Needless to say, pretend play can prove difficult for children who have trouble with social interactions and who like predictability and rules.


For children with autism, their play might look a little different, but that does not mean it’s less. For example, they may mimic what they have seen play out in their day in a literal sense, they might organise their toys because they like the visual structure or to feel a sense of control and stability, or they might be limited to play that involves their special interest. For children with autism, their method of pretend play may be their way of processing social interactions or a coping mechanism where they escape to a safe and enjoyable world after a long day of confusing social interactions. It can also be a way to connect with other children who share similar interests and similar ways of communicating and playing. Autistic play is still very much valid and it is most likely serving a vital service in your child’s life.


However, this does not mean that children on the autism spectrum can’t and shouldn’t learn other forms of play. We know that children with autism socialise less for a range of reasons, which means they have fewer opportunities to engage in play with their peers, and consequently, less opportunities to practise social interaction skills. It is undeniable that play is essential to the social, emotional and psychological development of all children, yet is something that often eludes children on the autism spectrum. This is why supported group-based play opportunities for children on the autism spectrum are so important, including pretend play.


Pretend play is known to develop social interaction skills where children experiment with social boundaries and social communication, develop emotional skills where they are often caring for another person or character, Theory of Mind skills where the they are putting themselves in the shoes of others or getting feedback about the impact of their actions on others, and of course language skills as they describe and narrate what is happening.  One interesting study where autistic adults taught play skills to autistic children also found that pretend play increased social motivation and engagement and improved peer-to-peer rapport, also known as friendship.



When young people are supported to engage in pretend play with their peers, improvements in social interaction skills are well documented. This is because children can practise and develop language and social skills in authentic contexts simply by being, playing and talking with other children. However, it’s  important to remember that these social interaction skills may not come easily to neurodivergent children, so pretend play also provides opportunities for a supportive adult to provide in-situ social coaching. 


If you would like some ideas to support your child’s pretend play please click these links:

https://www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/Encouraging-Pretend-Play-in-Children-with-Autism.aspx

https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/school-play-work/play-learning/play-asd#pretend-play-nav-title

https://www.speciallearninghouse.com/pretend-play-ideas-autism/

 

References

Kaufman, B. (2013). The need for pretend play in child development. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-need-for-pretend-play-in-child-development/

 

Raising Children Network. (2023). Play and autistic children. https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/school-play-work/play-learning/play-asd


Shireman et al. (2019). Teaching social play skills to adults and children with autism as an approach to building rapport.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26990643/

 

Sussman. F. (2013). The relationship between pretend play and theory of mind in typical children and children with asd.  https://www.hanen.org/siteassets/helpful-info/articles/pretend-play.aspx

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This Privacy Policy explains how Making Connections Toowoomba collects, uses, discloses, and protects your personal information when you use our website at www.makingconnectionstoowoomba.com.au . We are committed to safeguarding your privacy and complying with the Australian Privacy Principles (APPs) outlined in the Privacy Act 1988 (Cth). 1. What Personal Information We Collect We may collect personal information such as: Your name Email address Phone number Background information about our clients NDIS or funding information Details about services you enquire about or participate in Feedback, comments, or communications Any other information you voluntarily provide (e.g. via forms, emails, or phone) We may also collect non-identifiable data such as browser type, IP address, and usage statistics. 2. 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By Fiona Goodall April 27, 2025
The Importance of Catch Ups in Building Quality Friendships At Making Connections Toowoomba (MCT), our social skills programs focus on helping young people understand the characteristics of a quality friendship. One important element we teach is the value of catching up . Friendships, like all meaningful relationships, require effort from both people – and catching up in person plays an essential role in maintaining and strengthening these connections. Why Catch Ups Matter Catching up gives us the opportunity to share experiences, deepen trust, and reinforce the bond between friends . It’s during these moments that friendships are nurtured, mutual interests are explored, and memories are built. For neurodivergent young people, learning the purpose and benefits of catch ups can help make social connections more intentional, rewarding and long lasting. Understanding Individual Differences Catch ups come with an important reminder: just as no two friendships are identical, catching up looks different for everyone. Some people enjoy catching up weekly – or even more often – while for others, the occasional catch up is enough. It’s important to recognise that we all have different social needs and varying " social batteries. " Some young people recharge quickly and look for regular connection, while others need more time between social interactions. Pushing beyond our social limits can lead to fatigue, burnout and social avoidance, which can affect the quality of the friendship, and our ability to consolidate an emerging friendship. Making friends with people who respect our individual social thresholds helps build sustainable, quality friendships. It’s also important to remember that the way we catch up can look different too. For some, a catch up might mean doing activities together the entire time, while for others, simply sitting near a friend, sharing space quietly, is enough to feel connected. Both are valid ways of nurturing friendships. Catch Ups vs. Hanging Out It’s important to distinguish between "hanging out" and "catching up." Hanging out is often more spontaneous and casual, with no set structure or time limit. It usually relies heavily on ongoing conversation without a clear shared activity, which, while enjoyable for some, can sometimes feel overwhelming or stressful for neurodivergent individuals (not all, but often). In contrast, catching up usually has a more intentional purpose: connecting and spending time together, often through a shared activity around a common interest. Planning a catch up around something specific to do provides a natural focus for conversation and interaction, which can ease social pressure. For those learning to build friendships, an intentional, structured catch up can often be a more comfortable and successful way to strengthen connections — especially in the early stages of a new friendship. For catch ups to be successful, especially for young people learning these skills, it helps to have a few strategies in place: Plan ahead – agree on a time, place, and activity and communicate this clearly Choose an activity-based meet up – having something to do can ease social pressure (e.g. if you both like bowling, movies, or art/craft) Set time limits – keeping catch ups short can help manage social energy and have everyone leaving wanting more Have a backup plan – having a Plan B ensures there’s still something to do if things don’t go to plan or if someone gets bored At Making Connections Toowoomba, we believe teaching these strategies helps young people feel more confident in making and keeping friends. If you want to learn more about how to support your child, teen, or young adult in developing meaningful friendships, explore our social skills programs: Prep and Grade 1: PEERS for Early Years Primary School Grades 2 to Grades 8: Social Skills Program Teens 14–18: PEERS for Teens Young Adults 18–30: PEERS for Adults
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